Photo Shoots & Awareness
Source: http://www.eyesopen.be/index.php
Ok, so everyday of my Lean Eating Program comes with a lesson. Its usually something informative about food & nutrition, or movement or a suggestion for your day. Today’s lesson was advising me that I needed to book a professional photo shoot for the day my 6 month program wraps up. Middle of January. Right after the holidays.
I told you before about my bi-weekly photos in my pseudo-bikini. That I have been able to handle. Every other Saturday morning I hand my trainer my camera. We do a couple shots in the gym, front, side, back, we take my measurements, we weigh in me in. I post said photos to the Program website and voila done for two more weeks. Trust me, its not my favorite thing to do and the first day I did it I had to talk myself into it a little, but it seems manageable.
A photo shoot on the other hand…something professional in which the expectations are high – WHOA.
But – The advice behind why to do a photo shoot makes sense.
- Its documenting my Life Changing Journey in a whole different way.
- Ideally it would produce images that make me feel good about myself.
- It would help me celebrate my accomplishments and my new identity.
- Its going to be a serious motivator to stay on course knowing you have a photo shoot coming up – especially through Holiday season.
Coach Krista advises that this lesson “isn’t just about getting great “after” shots for the program (which is part of the photo shoot goal of course) but about helping you feel good and creating images that represent who and where you – as a unique individual are now.” This doesn’t mean I need to be a figure model in a string bikini and high heels with a spray tan if that’s not me. It doesn’t mean I need to pose in the same black sports bra and bikini bottoms that I have been in. It means I need to figure out how I would best represent my new fit self on camera. Even if I’m not to my ultimate goal by the end of this 6 months.
But that’s the thing that’s making me so unsettled about this right now, I don’t know myself as a fit person. I just got here. I don’t know who I am as fit, or athletic or any of those new and novel adjectives that might actually describe me. I spent 20 years of my life overweight and obsese and understood my identity as that person. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. Figuring out my identity as this new person and how to reflect that in photographs that will make me proud is whole new challenge.
I said to myself when I started this program that I wanted to be invested, and take advantage of everything it has to offer. That’s how I got through the initial “bikini” photo deal. So this isn’t different. I will do it. But I need to figure some things out between now and January and piece together a little more of this new identity of mine. I’m very thankful I have 5 more months to work some of this out. I can book a photo shoot date without knowing all of the specifics and build my ideas from there.
Do you have any advice on how to sort out your new identity on this Life Changing Journey?
Do you have days where it seems really close to you, and days where it seems so far away too?
Does it make you contemplate booking a photo shoot too?
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September 3, 2010
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My Vote
My coach for my Lean Eating Program shared this in our discussion forums and I thought it was genius. So I wanted to share. Everyday, a hundred times a day we make decisions. We figure out what to eat, how to move, where to go, who to talk to. Every decision we make is a vote for who we want to be.
“With every choice you make, what are you voting for? Deeper pleasure or deeper pain?
Think of each choice as a “vote” for a particular world and/or an identity.
- When I eat nutritiously, I vote for a body that is healthy.
- When I skip workouts, I vote for ignoring my body.
- When I beat myself up for mistakes, I vote for a world where mistakes lead to shame and punishment, not learning.
- When I take fish oil and a multivitamin, I vote for a world in which I too can access good health.
- When I chronically neglect my own self-care, I vote for a future where my children might have a physically incapacitated parent.”
- Coach Krista
What are you voting for?
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August 31, 2010
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Overdue Update
Holy smokes! I can’t believe its been 9 days since my last post. The time has been flying by. Life has been busy and I’ve neglected blog land. Today is my chance to catch up.
DDGBD – Last week I joined Jess‘ Drop Dead Gorgeous By December project. I’ll be sending her weekly updates on my progress on the way to December. Cool tie in to that whole project is that its the same timing as my Lean Eating Program at the moment.
In other news – My weekly DDGBD brag is a good one. This week I weighed in at 200lbs even. Its almost hilarious that I didn’t break that 200lb mark. But next week I will get there. And I am seriously damn proud to be 200. The weight doesn’t matter as much as what it means. It means I’m 89lbs down from my highest weight. And a whole 73lbs less than the day I met my trainer. It means I weigh what I don’t remember weighing since I was in Grade 7 – Junior High school! It means that for the first time in my adult life I am smaller than both of my brothers. So very satisfying!
My goals for DDGBD are:
- Commit wholeheartedly to following my current PN Lean Eating Program.
- See continued changes in the right direction, less weight, less body fat %, more lean muscle, more strength, more flexibility – more confidence!
- Learn more about anatomy and how the human body moves. (Knowledge is power!)
This Week This was a good week. Last weekend and Monday were a challenge, I had been feeling drained and needed to get my feet back under me. I reclaimed last Sunday and got reorganized and reinvigorated. It was a smart decision on my part and helped me make this last week a good one.
Workouts In finished up Phase 1 of my Program this week. After a tough workout on Monday when my head really did not want to cooperate things progressively got better each day. I conquered my workouts the rest of the week and I am feeling strong and like I have made progress. My range of motion and my strength in a lot of the movements has increased over the month. This week I am looking forward to starting Phase 2 and seeing what new challenges are ahead in the new workout regime.
Food Things are going well with Food and I. I have been trying lots of new things and new recipes that work into my Program. I was at my brother’s place last night for a family BBQ. He and his fiancée had healthy choices that worked for me. Grilled veggies, BBQ slow-roasted pork, fresh corn. I skipped the cupcakes with frosting and the dip and popcorn, dip and chocolate bars that came out later. You know what, I didn’t feel like I was missing anything. I was glad to not eat any of it. It just didn’t fit with my goals right now and was not worth it. Satisfying to find myself processing things with food like this. Its progress and its getting easier!!
Weight Loss I’m really happy with the progress I’ve made in the last month. Both on the scale and with all of my non-scale victories. I’m down 5lbs overall since I started my new Lean Eating Program and more inches. That’s success! next week should be the week I finally break below 200. It feels like its been holding out on me for months. There’s a lesson in there, I know it. I’m being optimistic that I may actually reach my goal of 100lbs lost by October 10th. That’s about 5 weeks away and 11lbs, it would be a record for me to get there, but not entirely impossible. I will not be sad if I don’t get there – any success is worth it and I’m used to slow, but it never hurts to aim for your goals and this has been a long held one for me.
Weekly Win – I learned some awesome new things about healthy eating this week and took full advantage!
1. Cottage Cheese is a protein super-food and you can put it in LOTS of stuff. Quite tasty (and handy)
2. Hummus (especially spicy hummus for me!) is an awesome salad dressing replacement. I just have a tbsp or two on the side of my salad, and dip my fork in before I load it up with salad goodness. Its awesome and tasty, adds protein without a tonne of fat and I get to enjoy a non-oily salad (which I love!)
Goals from Last week
- Get all of my Program workouts in. – CHECK!
- Take my multi-vitamin and liquid O3mega Fish Oil every day. – CHECK!
- Conquer this summer cold (sleep & hydrate!!) - BIG CHECK!
- Try 3 new recipes this week. (one down already tonight). BIG CHECK!
Goals for this week
- Blog at least 3 times this week.
- Add more protein into my meals – makes a huge difference with the muscle recovery.
- Tackle the week 1 of phase 2 workouts with gusto! Yay for new variety!
- Take my multi-vitamin and Omega3 Fish Oil every day.
- Find a new DDGBD brag for Jess before next weekend!
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August 29, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized 11 Comments
I like to move it, move it – but I didn’t always…
For the longest time in my life I was filling up with food in more ways than one. I don’t know all of the reasons why, I’ve dug out a few of them and have worked some out -ironing out the details over time. Its been hard fought progress that is still evolving. What is also evolving is my relationship to movement.
I don’t mean movement in a dance way (although that applies too) I mean movement in a generic – get your body moving, use your body for what it was built to do – sweat, lift, jump, run, MOVE kind of way…
See, most of my life I also thought about fitness, and sports as something I wasn’t good at. Something that equalled social exclusion (think the last one picked for a team etc.) or brought up these feelings of inadequacy. I just figured for my whole life exercise and movement would be a challenge, something I dreaded and hated and had to force myself though. For a very long time I avoided it at all costs. I would have times where Iwould do something here or there and thought it equaled “being active”: things like go for a walk, try an aerobics class or a yoga class with a friend, go for a swim – but seldom with any regularity for it to truly make a difference for my body or my soul over the long term. Sure, those activities were “active” compared to my usual day which consisted of: drive to work, walk two blocks to the office, sit all day at my desk, walk two blocks back to my car, go home and sit again. Now I know a new definition for active, and I’m learning what my body is actually capable of. We all have the ability to move and to take advantage of how are bodies are meant to function.
My coach for my new Program wrote something in our discussion forums the other day that has got me thinking:
“I suggest folks look at fitness/nutrition as the thing that sustains us and allows us to deal with the blah periods — rather than another obligation.”
This resonated with me in a HUGE way. My life and routines have shifted enormously in the last 18 months. I can now declare with confidence that – I love exercise. I love to move. I do NOT hate it (not anymore). Don’t get me wrong – this took time, and I worked up to it in stages. But, now that exercise and movement and strength are a part of my life every day my attitude about fitness has completely changed. I honestly remember thinking that that moment would never come. I thought I would be like Oprah and hate it every day, and have to feel forced into that misery for the sake of “doing what was good for me.”
Now I find myself feeling enormously satisfied by MOVING, things like:
- Working out with my trainer,
- getting stronger,
- pushing myself through those morning boot camps that kick my ass,
- electively choosing to walk 5K to pick up my car from the shop after work instead of taking a cab,
- wanting to go up the four flights of stairs to my office and skip the elevator (ok, maybe not actually wanting to do this everyday, but it is still satisfying when I do)
- being able to do things I couldn’t do before (a full sit up, a regular push up from my toes, move more weight etc.)
Those things make me feel good about myself. When I tackle them I feel like a fit, stronger person.
Bobbie posted about this just last week as well and talked about her shift in thinking around movement. There’s no drama when these things change – its just like any new behaviour – we don’t do something just because its good for us, there has to be a reward and a payoff that makes it worthwhile. And you know what – when you MOVE there are incredible rewards. I’m seeing now more than ever the wave of benefits that movement brings.
- Its far from just the weight loss:
- its the self confidence,
- its the feeling of strength,
- its knowing I’m using my body now instead of letting it waste away,
- its understanding that I’m building a better and stronger person from the inside as well as the outside.
The pay off has been huge – and you know what – my relationship with food IS now something that sustains me and lets me deal with life in a completely manageable way.
What’s your relationship to food and exercise like today? Can you imagine a time when it will shift? Do you want it to?
Popularity: 42% [?]
August 20, 2010
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Week in Review
This past week was a good one. It felt like a big giant challenge that I just wanted to tackle.
Workouts My new program had me again doing the same 6 workouts – upper body day, lower body day, and repeat. Its a serious series of squats, lunges, deadlifts for the Lower Body days (x3) and pull ups, rows, push ups, and presses for the Upper Body (x3) only this week they added a dynamic warm up (which felt like a warm up all on its own). I will definitely admit it felt a little monotonous doing the same workout every other day. But it was effective – I worked hard, increased my weight with a lot of the exercises and increased my total sets this week (for the start of week three). Its definitely still a challenge to get through each day, and my trainer and I persevering through it – apparently the repetition is good practice for new and exciting things to come. We shall see!
Food Things have been getting A LOT easier in the food department. I feel like things are more straightforward and now just “how I eat”. I survived a couple of family events this weekend with lots of foods that don’t fit the way I eat now and I just wasn’t tempted. I think it has a lot to do with my current frame of mind, I’m feeling super motivated and driven at the moment. Nothing in the food department sounds good to me if it doesn’t fit in the plan. I like that things are feeling together at the moment.
Weight Loss Between August 7th and August 14th (1 week on the Program) I’m down 1.5lbs and 3 more inches from my overall measurements. (an inch off my thighs in a week – and an inch off my hips). I was pleasantly surprised with that progress in one week. I’m feeling like the Program and the changes and motivation its bringing at the moment are great timing. I’m excited to see how all of this might augment my Life Changing Journey! My weight loss so far is now at 69.5lbs lost since starting with my trainer and a total of 85.5lbs lost from my highest known weight. I’m now at 203.5 – SO close to 199…
Today Today I spent some time reflecting on my weekend. I saw a lot of people who I haven’t seen in sometime over the weekend. Reactions are so interesting. In some cases I felt a bit like a spectacle, kind of a little bit uncomfortable – any one experience this? Interestingly I had a few people ask “whether I had a boyfriend now that I’ve lost weight” – I’m not really sure what love has to do with how much a person weighs…
Weekly Win Since I’m not a daily blog poster, I think this will be a great way to bring in my daily win philosophy here to blog land. This week (other than staying prepared) I hosted a bridal shower for my soon-to-be sister-in-law. I wanted to have a healthy spread of treats and munchies instead of the usual shower food fare. I served brownie bites with fruit, lots of fresh veggies and fruit, guacamole with organic corn tortilla chips, smoked salmon, and some bake Brie. To drink we had lemonade and cucumber/strawberry water instead of pop. The food seemed to go over well and no one seemed to miss the extra sugar and starchy carbs – BIG WIN!
Goals from Last week
- Get all of my Program workouts in. 7 days. – CHECK
- Take my multi-vitamin and liquid O3mega Fish Oil every day. – CHECK
- Add at least one new note to my reflection journal towards the goal of one for every pound lost. – NO CHECK – I spent my extra time (what little there was of it) getting prepared with food etc. to stay on track, and get some extra rest where I’ve had a summer cold…I know, sounds like excuses huh?
- Do not look at the “before photos” again until there are comparison shots to see the changes. – NO CHECK – apparently I couldn’t resist the temptation. But you know what, when I looked again I only saw progress, even without a comparison shot, I can’t knock myself for that can I?
- Track my food and make sure to be prepared. – BIG CHECK!
Goals for this week
- Get all of my Program workouts in.
- Take my multi-vitamin and liquid O3mega Fish Oil every day.
- Conquer this summer cold (sleep & hydrate!!)
- Try 3 new recipes this week. (one down already tonight).
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August 16, 2010
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Daily Win
So my new program brings along with it a lot of new lessons. I’ve been enjoying it so far. The daily routine workouts have been an interesting challenge. The frequency isn’t new for me, I’ve been doing 6 days a week for months now. What is new is the same upper body/lower body alternating days dealio.
Shhh – don’t tell my new program coach, but its a little bit boring doing the same thing every other day. My trainer and I (he’s helping me with the daily workouts) are working it through the new day, same workout together. I am increasing my repetitions and weight as I go which are signs of progress. I’m definitely noticing muscle groups I haven’t had sore in a while, so that has to be progress too.
Daily Win
Something new from the Program is the “daily win”. I like it. Its a reminder of something that went the way it was supposed to each day. Today my daily win was a realization. I weighed in on the weekend at 205lbs. On Saturday I didn’t think much of it. I think the weigh in was overshadowed by the fact that I was half naked for photos and body fat testing. So today the win was that it dawned on me. I am within 6lbs of being 199 for the first time in more than 15 years! My next weigh in and measurements will be on Saturday. I’m not convinced that ”onderland” is happening this week, but I know I’m close and its been a big goal of mine for a while. Before August is out I may be there. That is a BIG WIN.
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August 11, 2010
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Week in Review
This was an interesting week. There was lots happening in terms of the steps I’m taking on this LCJ (Life Changing Journey – in Tara-speak). I started my new Program, its 6 months long and brings along some new structure, routine and habits. It also meant some challenges of the mind this week. All said and done for the week I rose to the challenges and had some fun along the way.
Workouts The new program meant following the first phase of workouts on the plan. Its a serious series of squats, lunges, deadlifts for the Lower Body days (x3) and pull ups, rows, push ups, and presses for the Upper Body (x3). Its hard and I was sore most of the week as a result. This weekend’s workout didn’t go as planned so I didn’t get my Saturday workout in. Real life happened and it was fun, so I went with it. Not regretting that decision for a second.
Food Food this week was good. The new program hasn’t really gotten into the food changes yet, its easing us in quite slowly trying to reinforce new habits a little at a time. The first week the focus was more on getting the workouts in daily and taking my daily multi-vitamin plus my O3mega Fish Oil. I was continuing to follow my dietitian’s plan from the last 6 weeks until I have more specific directions from the Program. I suspect I was a little more liberal this week than I had been (as I was making my own adaptation based on my dietitian’s parameters). But overall I think I ate very well balanced this week.
Weight Loss After last week when I weighed in virtually the same as the two weeks before, I knew this weekends whole new level of measurements was going to be interesting. I really wasn’t anticipating any kind of losses over last week. I’ve been retaining water like crazy this week – a lot of which has to do with the inflammation of virtually every muscle I have from the workouts this week. This week was I was down 2lbs (which was a surprise, although may be as simple as not having as many clothes on for the weigh in). This was also the big measurement day. Photos in the “bikini” (black sports bra, black swimming suit bottoms), weigh in, body fat skin fold measurements with calipers (which have to be taken 3 times to get the average overall), and girth measurements. Some of my measurements were up this week, including my hips – which makes sense with the water retention. It was a test of confidence and strength of spirit to want to keep working on improving the fitness, health and strength of this body of mine to go through the testing on Saturday. I’m glad I did it, but I will admit it wasn’t easy.
Today Today I’m tired, I didn’t get as much sleep as I’m accustomed to last night and haven’t really napped today to compensate. Goal will be to get to bed early tonight and try to compensate a little. I’m reflecting a lot on my measurements etc. from yesterday. I’ve had a surprisingly difficult time with knowing my actual body fat percentage. Its not shocking – but still so far from where I want to be. But it is yet another starting point to move forward from. I can’t wait to see what I can do with that figure 6 months from now when my Program is wrapping up. Although its been a bit emotional, it is definitely a huge motivator as well. I’m absolute still in “game on” mode to keep moving into a much healthier future.
Goals from Last week
- Get all of my workouts in. 6 days. MOSTLY CHECK. I did miss Saturday this week.
- Take my liquid O3mega Fish Oil every day. MOSTLY CHECK. Got all but Saturday.
- Keep going with my reflection journal (aim for at least 5 more entries). (Thanks DesertAgave for theinspiration!) NO CHECK – didn’t manage to add one single new entry this week.
- Get my body fat skin fold testing and my photo taken from 3 angles in my new black “bikini”. – CHECK
- Track my food and make sure to be prepared! – CHECK
Goals for This Week
- Get all of my Program workouts in. 7 days.
- Take my multi-vitamin and liquid O3mega Fish Oil every day.
- Add at least one new note to my reflection journal towards the goal of one for every pound lost.
- Do not look at the “before photos” again until there are comparison shots to see the changes.
- Track my food and make sure to be prepared.
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August 8, 2010
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Exploring
I have been on life-transformation exploration mission the last couple of days. I started my new Program on Monday. They’re smart. They ease you into things slowly. Not a lot in my routine has really changed thus far. Just baby steps for now.
Tuesday morning I weighed in and did measurements with my trainer. It had been two weeks since the last time. I didn’t feel the same kind of difference this week that I had two weeks ago. And sure enough, I was pretty much exactly the same. I had maintained the 5.5 lb loss from two weeks before, and my measurements were essentially exactly the same. I’m actually quite alright with this progress. My body doesn’t seem inclined to losing lbs quickly and when I do have a little jump I tend to even out for a while. With my new plan starting this week that gives me somewhere to go from here.
The new Program brings weight and measurement to a whole new level. On Saturday I will get my photos taken again, only this time I will be wearing a black sports bra and bikini bottoms. Its part of the program to have the photos with the middle bits on display. I will also have to have my girth measurements AND body fat skin fold testing done. Yup, nothing like a double dose shot of reality to kick start my motivation all over again!
All things considered here are my goals for the week:
- Get all of my workouts in. 6 days. (so far I’m 3 for 3).
- Take my liquid O3mega Fish Oil every day.
- Keep going with my reflection journal (aim for at least 5 more entries). (Thanks DesertAgave for the inspiration!)
- Get my body fat skin fold testing and my photo taken from 3 angles in my new black “bikini”.
- Track my food and make sure to be prepared!
Popularity: 72% [?]
August 4, 2010
Tags: Diet, Food, Goals, Mental, Motivation, No Excuses, Progress Posted in: Goals, Nutrition, Progress, Workouts 8 Comments
Week in Review
This week went okay. Last weekend was a wedding weekend which was definitely not perfect when it comes to the food and working out, but it was a whole lotta fun! Tuesday I had a questionable day with my food decisions, but learned from it. I got everything back on track after Tuesday.
Workouts I got all of my workouts in this week. 3X Bootcamp, and 2X one-on-one’s with my trainer + some weekend homework. Things are still feeling like an increased level of difficulty. I always have a serious sweat on after my workouts and feel like I’m been A) put through the wringer and B) couldn’t do more if I tried. I’m not sure if that’s the goal, but something seems to be working. I have really been noticing the link between my emotional state of being and my workouts. If I get that good workout in (especially in the morning) it sets my mood for the day in a good way. Nothing is better than that. Really realizing that also makes the effort to get there and get the workout done all the more powerful.
Food This was my last week following my dietitian’s latest food plan. As I mentioned with the exceptions of last weekend and the Tuesday past I have been on program. I start my new Program tomorrow. I honestly don’t have a whole lot of information on exactly what that will entail yet. I anticipate I’ll have an email with some details in the morning, and then some grocery shopping to do on Tuesday. I’m looking forward to the change and to shifting gears again.
Weight Loss I will be weighed and measured again on Tuesday morning I believe. So I’m not sure what the last two weeks have translated too in terms of weight loss. I will keep you posted. If you asked me on Thursday I would have told you I was scared I would be weighing in the same. But today things feel the slightest bit different again, so who knows! I will think positively and take whatever change it is for what is worth!
Today Today was a good Sunday. I ate well, I got my workout in, I got some organizing done and I’m feeling ready for the start of my Program tomorrow!
Goals from Last week
- Get three nights of extra Cardio on this week HIIT on the bike if its hot. - CHECK!
- Keep hydrated, drink at least 12 cups of water every day…CHECK!
- Stick with the food plan. Meet my dietician on Wednesday afternoon at the grocery store for some new ideas. CHECK & CHECK (well except for Tuesday?!)
- Get a massage. CHECK – did that on Monday afternoon. Hurts so good.
- Try the full-on-healthy “cookie” recipe. NO CHECK – its been too hot to bake…
Goals for This Week …TBD
I am going to wait until I have some more info about my Program to set my goals for this week. I have a funny feeling I may end up with more than 5!
Popularity: 69% [?]
August 1, 2010
Tags: Diet, Food, Goals, Mental, Motivation, No Excuses, Nutrition, positive thinking, Progress, Weekly Review, Workouts Posted in: Goals, No Excuses, Nutrition, Progress, Weekly Review, Workouts 5 Comments
Guest Post: Losing it Slowly
Bobbie over at AFG was looking for some Guest Posting help and I was only too pleased to oblige.
I’ve been learning to come to terms with the fact that despite my best efforts I lose weight S-L-O-W-L-Y and you know what, maybe that is a very good thing. Bobbie and I share a few things in common in terms of our approach and our occasional frustration with the pace in which the weight seems to come off.
If you haven’t already, definitely make your way over to Anonymous Fat Girl.com and check out my guest post!
If you’ve found your way to my blog from AFG for the first time, welcome! Please leave me a note and say hello. If you have a blog, please leave a link for me – I would love to follow your journey!
Popularity: 64% [?]
July 31, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized 3 Comments
