It’s no secret that I had a rough December when it comes to my emotional health. Bless Tara for being an incredible understanding and supportive mate and being patient and loving while I figured out my shit. My shit turned out to be mostly sugar driven crazy and now that I’ve cut out the sugar again my depressive symptoms seem to be all but gone. Amazing light bulb moment that one is.
What I’m learning in January is that a little of making ME the most important priority can go a long way. And it also makes me a better mate.
Today was a rough day. It was busy at work, and there were a lot of interruptions. I’m talking a level of busy where literally minute by minute you have to reevaluate priorities and are constantly shifting gears. Lots of days that’s precisely what I love about my job, it’s always a new adventure. Today I had to be careful. Because I could feel the melt down right beneath the surface. I could feel all of the niggling little bits of me who were screaming: “GO FIND CHOCOLATE”… “You know you want a cookie…”
But I didn’t want a cookie, I didn’t need the chocolate. Instead I put my coping mechanisms into high gear:
- I had a workout scheduled with my trainer at lunch. Instead of bailing because it was really busy and things “needed” to be done. I went. I put sweating out the anxiety at the top of my priority list for my lunch hour. (and it was a damn fine workout I might add, hello 500 non-sugary calories GONE in 40 mins).
- The minute I got back to my desk, I ate something good for me. I didn’t wait until I was so hungry I couldn’t think and sugar was the only thing rational in my head. Nope, nope, nope. I ate my delicious healthy lunch and drank some water and my brain was functional again.
- I finished what really truly needed to get done at work. I left for home 20 minutes after my usual time. Not three hours late.
- The first thing I did when I get home was take a bath. Not super long, not super hot, but just right to calm down the nerves after the crazy of the day. I did the little self care things that felt really good, I used the yummy smelling soap I got for Christmas, I shaved my legs without feeling rushed, I took the left over grown-out nail polish off my toes, I used the delicious lotion that matched my soap. I washed my face and I put my hair up and I sighed a sigh a relief. It took maybe 20 minutes.
- I ate dinner curled up with my mate and didn’t think about the long list of ‘To Dos’ that will await me in the office tomorrow.
Imagine, just taking the time back that is MINE to do things that make me feel good and not giving in to the habit of turning to sugar when things get busy Just. Feels. Better.
Better in every sense of the word. I’m more human, I’m more grounded, I’m much more fun to be around tonight than if I had worked all the way through my day, stuffed my pie hole with chocolate or sweets and come home late grumpy and exhausted. I’ll admit I’m still tired tonight, but I’m going to blame that on my hell of a workout and find my pillow a little early.
This whole learning about yourself process doesn’t really ever stop. Even if I keep learning the same lessons over and over, I think the lesson settles in a little deeper each go around.
Be Kind To You
Whatever your job, whatever your anxiety, whatever your stress. If you’re reading this, please, please, pretty please, take a minute or two today and ask yourself what you can do to put yourself first. It doesn’t have to be a giant thing. Those little things on my list made all the difference today. Hell, I can’t even call that bad day. #awesomesauce